31 Days of Halloween Music Mix Volume 2


Yesterday we posted about Devin Cönnörs’ and Myles Arden’s 31 days of Halloween music project and shared their first volume of the season, SCORE RETURNS. Today is the second of October, so it’s the second day of mixes — FULL MOON: THE CURSE. To download the mix CLICK HERE and Follow their Tumblr for future mixes and Halloween inspired content!

Return of the 31 Days of Halloween Music Mixes: Volume 1

31DOH15 Score ReturnsThey have done it again! For all 31 Days In October Devin Cönnörs and Myles Arden post One 10 track volume of Halloween Music to keep your addiction thriving & strong! They cover every music style — no genre is denied entry from these compilations! Today is the first of October, so it’s the first day of mixes —SCORE RETURNS. To download the mix CLICK HERE and Follow their Tumblr for future mixes and Halloween inspired content!

Just when I thought everyone forgot about Twilight…

While we were setting up at a convention recently I noticed a rather large decal on the back of another vender’s truck that read “LOST BOYS DON’T SPARKLE”… Which perplexed me because I was pretty sure no one even cared about Twilight anymore… Then I saw another couple of memes posted on social media and learned that, apparently, it’s still an issue…

So, in an effort to educate the pop-culture ignorant, I present you you and article I wrote:
(Two years ago… when it was still relevant)

Lost Boys Vs. Twilight

lost boysI know that in a world full of stupid internet memes it’s hard to believe that these are a couple of the stupidest and least thought out memes that I’ve ever seen…

I want to start out by saying The Lost Boys is one of my favorite movies.

But lets take a minute to think about this film in depth.

Michael Emerson (yeah, the guy from Solarbabies) and his younger brother, Sam (The late Teen-Idol, Corey Haim), move with their recently divorced mother, Lucy, to a beach community in California. Sam decorates his room like a 12 year old girl complete with a sexy poster of Rob Lowe. The brothers begin hanging out on the Boardwalk, which is inhabited by punks and mysterious smooth young boys with Aqua Net encrusted hair and excessively long eyelashes — Not to mention the concerts featuring oiled down muscle men with silky hair playing saxophones like rugged manly men. We’re introduced to David (The super dreamy Kiefer Sutherland). David is the almost angelic and statuesque leader of a local gang. Meanwhile, Sam buddies up brothers Edgar and Alan Frog, a pair of self-proclaimed vampire hunters, who give him horror comics to teach him about young romance… er I mean vampires.

Michael is approached by David, who uses his bedroom eyes to convince him to follow them by motorcycle down the beach until they reach a dangerous cliff. At the gang’s cushy clubhouse David initiates Michael into the group, having him drink from a bottle of wine. The next day, Michael develops a thirst for blood and Mascara.
This initiates some zany vampire slaying antics including steaking Ted from “Bill and Ted” who explodes with glistening glittery blood. Everyone leaves the clubhouse covered in glitter. Sparkly blood. Once more, when the vampires die, they bleed glitter. Um…. need I go on?

I’ve never seen Twilight but attacking it using The Lost Boys is about as effective as using, say, the 80’s boy band New Kids on the Block to attack the newest flavor of the month One DirectionIT’S THE SAME THING.In our case it’s a bunch of sexy, effeminate, romantic vampires being marketed at teenaged girls while ignoring traditional vampire tropes and creating new ones. If you’re not interested in a romantic vampire movie made for young women, don’t watch Twilight, but you’re no better for watching The Lost Boys.

In most cases we’re dealing with is people not so much arguing about quality of movies but jumping on a bandwagon and having these imaginary arguments about apples and oranges, and in this case it’s apples and slightly older apples.
What we all must try and remember that it’s just as pretentious to hate something because it’s popular as it is to like it because it’s popular. Goodnight Ladies and Gentlemen and even gentler men… er… vampires?


near_dark_bill_paxtonCan we just agree that there is more studly vampirism in Bill Paxton’s diastema than there is in all of these boy’s fangs put together? Because, if you’re looking for the ultimate violent and macho vampire flick that you can watch on date night, you need look no further than NEAR DARK.

Since I am a glutton for punishment, I put together a small gallery of some other memes I found after a 2 minute google search. You’re welcome.

I also found this which is either really hilarious, or unrelentingly stupid:
58d9e9336f8433971282091623058ad5Don’t even get me started on Buffy The Vampire Slayer.

We’ve Lost Time, Found Unusual Marks, and We Have A New Cosmic Awareness… Where have we been?

No, we haven’t been abducted by aliens (as far as we know), but we have been training for an intergalactic mission of epic proportions! Who is looking out to make YOUR entertainment universe better? We are!

Piles and piles of Mega-Fun Top Secret projects all add up to our new venture…OUTER SPACE INTERNATIONAL and our new streaming channel OSI 74. We are reinvesting all our profits into the channel as we get ready for launch OCTOBER 30th, 2015. Now is the time to buy a CD, DVD, Poster, Shirt, Sticker, or other collectible treasure to join in on the fun and to give us an extra boost as we take on the small screen industry to make a channel for people like us! So far your support has been amazing! Thank you!

On the programming schedule, you can look forward to 13 New episodes of CINEMA INSOMNIA with MR. LOBO,
24 “Lost” First Season Episodes of CINEMA INSOMNIA,
SLEAZY P. MARTINI of the band GWAR in an original late night program called SLEAZY PICTURES AFTER DARK,
Never before seen episodes of MONSTER MADHOUSE with KARLOS BORLOFF, OSI Logo NewClassic CULT MOVIES TV episodes based on the wonderful mag from the 90’s, New episodes of CRISWELL PREDICTS!, Franken-brother of Mr. Lobo, ERIC MILLER’s MIDNIGHT FRIGHTS with SPOTSWOODE, Veteran animator CRAIG CLARK’s KUSTOMONSTERS cartoon show on our Saturday Morning line up, London Burly-Q sensation BUNNY GALORE’s soap PANTRY MANOR, Classic MONSTER CREATURE FEATURE episodes and the premiere of ORMON GRIMSBY’s All New Program THE ORMON GRIMSBY SHOW, the Publisher of PARANOIA MAGAZINE, OLAV PHILLIPS is curating or SECRET SUNDAYS block of Mysteries and Conspiracies, OSI original Cold War Sci-Fi program with model JESSE SEEHERMAN as space babe COSMONAUTI–UTOPIA FANTASTIKA, A Night Flight inspired overnight extravaganza of films music videos and more called 12:01 BEYOND,  Plus, Outrageous shorts and acclaimed Indy Films…all on your New New Favorite channel OSI 74. Check out OSI74.com!!! ALL SYSTEMS GO!

Please collect and share these promo images with no mercy!


Put on your 3-D Glasses! Creature Features Bob Wilkins Interviews Christopher Lee in the Great Beyond



SIR CHRISTOPHER LEE arrived in the kingdom of infinity looking well. He is obviously enjoying his vacation after a lifetime of intense work entertaining us fans of Fantastika in classic Hammer Horror films like THE CURSE OF FRANKENSTEIN(1957), HORROR OF DRACULA(1958),  and THE MUMMY(1959) and Summer block-busters from the STAR WARS and LORD OF THE RINGS film franchises. He even played WILLY WONKA‘s father in the TIM BURTON film, CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY(2005). And Misunderstood Movie fans will remember his roles in POLICE ACADEMY 7: MISSION TO MOSCOW(1994) and the big budget comedy bomb 1941(1979).
Whitout a doubt, LEE is best loved as DRACULA, as he played the dark vampire prince in a number of sequels up into the early 1970s. However, he played many other iconic characters, co-starring in THE HOUND OF THE BASKERVILLES(1959), and made numerous “non-PC” appearances as FU MANCHU before that was a thing. And who could forget THE PRIVATE LIFE OF SHERLOCK HOMES(1970), THE THREE MUSKETEERS(1973), and Bond film MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN(1974). Lee appeared on the San Francisco Bay Area TV show CREATURE FEATURES to promote that film and was first interviewed by the host of that show, MR. LOBO’s mentor, BOB WILKINS.

“SIR” BOB and SIR CHRISTOPHER  met again today on a cloud of star-stuff that quickly formed itself into a facsimile of a TV Studio.

Bob puffed his cigar and told him how much he would be missed down on earth by us Creature Feature fans and movie fans in general. Mr. Lee was tickled when Bob informed him that CINEMA INSOMNIA is celebrating Mummy month and that we have been sharing many images of him as KHARIS THE MUMMY all over the internet. MR. LOBO will even be presenting HORROR HOTEL AKA CITY OF THE DEAD as part of the new CINEMA INSOMNIA season coming this fall on OSI 74. Bob presented Lee with an original tribute Count Dracula drawing by CI fan and artist DAVID HARDY. He smiled at all the praise and gracefully shook his head.  countLee

He then reminded Bob that he would never play DRACULA again.  But of course, he doesn’t have to…DRACULA IS FOREVER. CREATURE FEATURES ARE FOREVER.  Thank you, SIR CHRISTOPHER LEE for all your fine work. We miss you already! We still miss you, too, Bob!


3-D Pictures by Scott Moon!

Who is this Host?

argoman3While watching a bootleg DVD of Argoman Mr. Lobo and Dixie started noticing these weird subliminal blips… Finally Mr. Lobo was able to stop it just in time to see this guy in a Video Store:

IMG_20150327_004610_719[1]IMG_20150327_012157_547[1]They saw him several times, he cut in something like 12 times. Finally a bug came up for a split second which said “WNBC-TV New York 4”. Any New Yorkers know who this guy is? Looks like it’s from the late 80’s or early 90’s. Here he is looking “cool”:


Cosmic Fred

Better Viewing Through Cosmic Cognizance By Fred E. Frederick
(a.k.a. Cosmic Charlie)

Cosmic (Fred Frederick) Charlie here, continuing to participate in the Cinema Insomnia ‘March of the Dolls” doll themed month of march! Today’s film, Dolls! Directed by Stuart dollsGordon, who you should already know from his amazing work in the horror genre, like  Re-Animator, which came out the same year that this movie was made, even though this movie didn’t come out ‘til two years later. Also involved was producer Charles Band, who would go on to helm Full Moon Entertainment, and producer Brian Yuzna, who you should also already know from Re-Animator, unless you’re some sort of not-nerd, in which case, good for you, not wasting your life away on silly bits of information about movies that no one likes. Now, shut your mouth and keep reading! One of us! One of us! Mwwahahahahaha!!!!


Never too old to play with dolls.

Dolls is the story of when a little girl has stupid parents and they happen to get stranded near an old house that houses old people. One of those old people you might recognize as Guy Rolfe, who later found fame in the third installment of the Puppet Master series as the complicated creator of the puppets, and made people want to see more, and why we’re now up to number ten in their sequels. He appears in Dolls as an ironically similar character, controlling a bunch of murderous dolls, which, I hope that’s not a spoiler for you, cause if you’re watching a horror movie called Dolls, you should probably have figured out by now that this ain’t about Barbie™. So, getting back to Dolls, for about a second, because it reminds me a bit of Nothing But Trouble, the Dan Akroyd movie with Chevy Chase and Demi Moore that you either know and love, or don’t know and probably wouldn’t understand. Point being, if you have car trouble in the middle of nowhere, you might as well jump off a cliff, because unless you’re a pure of heart child, and not a scummy adult/lawyer person, you’re probably not going to find anyone who’s going to help you, and they’re either gonna strip you into bones, or turn you into murderous dolls. Maybe

Now you see 'em...

Now you see ’em…

...now you also see them, as dolls.

…now you also see ’em, as dolls.

So besides the little girl’s stupid parents, there’s also a nice fat guy, Ralph (he’s Officer Duffy in Robocop2!) who is giving two punk girls a ride, who both turn out to not be so nice, because even alternative thinking and interesting looking people can be judgemental MV5BMjE2NDU2ODk2Ml5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMjI5NjYzNA@@._V1_SX640_SY720_dicks sometimes. Needless to say, because it’s a horror movie, things don’t go well for the nefarious females, and one of those things I said in the last sentence of that last paragraph happens to them, but I’ll let you figure that out. So the fat guy helps the little girl search for the missing girls (or does she help him?) … (yes. yes she does) and she ends up having to convince the murderous dolls to spare his life. Unfortunately, the dolls have already killed some other people, and certain other people think that other people killed those other people, so other people want revenge on other people, and Judy is stuck in the middle. What? Judy! The little girl! Did I not mention her name was Judy? Well it is. SPOILER!



It’s a great little horror movie that has the Stephen King feel to it where the children are the saviors of our tormented human souls, pretty much literally in this case. It somehow ends happily, with everything tied up in a neat little package so the little girl can go on and dolls-1live a happy and perfect life without even having to know that her dad and step-mother’s souls are trapped in dolls that murder and enslave other bad parents for not raising their children right. What a paradise that must be. Or, some sort of horrifying movie. A ‘horror’ movie, if you will.

I feel like I should start actually drawing these hypothetical pinball machines I keep dreaming up. It’s always just taking an already existing machine and imagining the movie’s theme plastered on it and thus creating a kind of storyline following gameplay rather than all this bumping and flipping pointlessly nonsense. I always try to get a machine from around the same era, and in this case, since the movie was made in 85 (though not released til 87) I’m going with the 1986 machine ‘Hollywood Heat’, which, with its horrendous Miami Vice rip off artwork, should be obvious why I’d prefer some murderous dolls painted all over it. Also, in some bizarre way, I feel like the gameplay would be somehow fitting to the storyline. I dunno, take a look and decide for yourselves.

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